Empty
by A Sirius Crush On Moony
Summary: AU Sirius has been in Azkaban for two years. Remus is developing a mental illness at the loss of Sirius. slash Remus/Sirius. Set in the Marauders time. Bad at summaries. Entered for SummerxMidnightxDreamer's challenge 'Show Me the Angst!" in HPFC
1. Memory

**Obviously this doesn't fit in with the real story, if it did, the real story probably wouldn't have happened. Anyway, it's slash - Remus/Sirius.  
Sirius has been gone for two years and Remus is going crazy, missing him. **

I'm cold. Empty.

Is everything gone? Feels like it. Why is everyone so happy, content? I'm not, that's for sure. I shiver. I'm so cold, nothing can warm me up now. I look across the room, the two sleeping figures of my friends, and then.. the empty bed. The bed that once had the love of my life lying peacefully in it.

Where are you? I need you... I miss you... I love you. Two years now. Feels like it happened yesterday. I'm not over you. I don't even care what you did. I'm cruel, but I lost my mind when I lost you. I lost you two years ago, and I still haven't found you. When will I see you again? Will I _ever_ see you again?

* * *

The same thoughts that ran through my head every single night. Still, the days, weeks, months went by. I had no hope that he would ever return. I was quiet now. People didn't look my way - not that I took much notice or cared. I was failing my subjects, which was unusual for me. But my head was so consumed of hope. Hope that I would one day see him again, but I knew I was hoping too much.

I was sitting in History of Magic, hearing the teacher, but not taking anything in. I was focused on a memory. The last time I saw him. Maybe the last time I would ever see him. It was so clear in my head

_I was walking down the hallway, ready to go into the Great Hall for lunch. I was smiling. Because I would see him soon. There was a hold-up outside the Great Hall. I wondered what it was, and I could hear screams, I could hear crying and shouting. I could hear Lily, more clear than anyone. Sobbing loudly._

_"Why would you do this? Why? I hate you, Sirius. I hate you! He's dead because of you! You killed him!" she screeched. My heart stopped. He killed someone? Who? Why? I walked closer, pushing through the large crowd of people. _

_It was Severus. He was lying in Lily's arms motionless, eyes wide open. I knew Sirius hated him, but this was taking things too far. I looked for him, and he was standing on the other side of Severus, looking shocked._

_"I-I didn't," he said, tears in his eyes. I knew there were tears in mine too. He was going to be in trouble. Big trouble. There were footsteps, and Professor Dumbledore emerged from the other side of the circle of students._

_"What is going on here?" he asked seriously. Nobody spoke. The only sound was Lily's sobbing. "Somebody tell me," he demanded crossly. Peter spoke._

_"I-I was w-walking to lunch with Sirius and S-Severus started picking on me. H-he killed him," he said, pointing at Sirius, who was shaking his head._

_"Please listen to me, please!" shouted Sirius, who was now being grabbed by the arms by Professor McGonagall and Hagrid. "I didn't!"_

_"Check the last spell his wand cast," said Dumbledore to Professor McGonagall. After a minute of checking his wand, she sighed. _

_"The last spell he cast was Avada Kedavra," she said. People gasped. How could he? James was now standing next to me. He looked angry, as I suppose I did. Sirius was crying._

_"I swear I didn't do it!" he shouted, trying desperately to pull away from the teachers but he couldn't move. I looked up at him just in time to see him staring at me, his eyes glistening with tears. Those beautiful grey eyes I loved so much, eyes of a murderer. He looked like he was trying to speak to me. Like I could forgive him after this... I looked away to prevent him from seeing the tears. I could hear him shouting as he was being pulled away from the castle. _

_"Take him to Azkaban," said Dumbledore coldly. "That's what he deserves."_

_My heart stopped beating. I couldn't look at him. He was going away forever. I wouldn't see him again. _

_"Remus!" he called. It was the last thing I heard him say. My name._

I was pulled back to reality, when I was shoved by James.

"Come on Remus, we're supposed to be working in pairs," he said. I nodded. We didn't really work in pairs though. I didn't do anything. My eyes were filled with new tears, from just thinking about the past. I'd forgiven Sirius now. It was still a terrible thing that he did, but I couldn't live without him.

The rest of the day went by quickly. I didn't take any notice to what was going on though. One minute I was sitting in History of Magic, and now I was lying in bed, curled up, trying to think of anything but Sirius, trying to prevent the nightmares. Every night, I saw his face. When he was being dragged away. Sometimes I would see him smiling at me. Sometimes he would kiss me again. But then I'd wake up to find that it wasn't real. I would wake up shaking violently. I didn't let anyone else know about this. It wasn't right, but I didn't want to speak to anyone about this.

As I lay there, I could hear the low sounds of James and Peter sleeping. I was trying not to cry, but I couldn't. I let the tears roll silently down my face. All I could think of was the times that me and Sirius had been together. Lying in bed, his arm around me, holding me safely. His warm touch. His sweet, loving voice. The taste of his lips, when they were pressed softly against mine. The way my heart would speed up when he was touching me.

I couldn't handle it anymore. I stepped out of bed and walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. There, I let myself cry. I let out everything. I looked into the mirror. I was a mess. I didn't even remember the last time I'd brushed my hair. It was messy and my eyes looked tired. I had dark circles under my them. I looked horrible. I must have been sitting on the floor of the bathroom for about an hour, until there was a knock.

"Hey, you nearly done in there?" asked James's voice, sleepily. I jumped to my feet and wiped the tears from my face. My face was red, from crying. I unlocked the door and walked quickly over to my bed. James looked back at me, probably wondering what I'd been doing, and walked into the bathroom. I closed my eyes, and curled up in a ball. I pulled the covers over my head as always, and silently fell asleep to the sound of my quiet sobs.

**Before anyone else comments on the fact that Remus's condition is very similar to Bella's condition in New Moon, I'd like to say that that's probably where I got the idea from, so don't kill me :)**

**Review please.**


	2. Transformation

It was morning, and it was Saturday. Not that I cared much anymore what the day was... All I cared about was how empty I felt. Without him with me. Without his kisses and his hugs and sweet words when I was upset. I missed his looks, his touch, his smell, his everything.

_"Hey, Rem." _

_"Hey," I replied, smiling. We were sitting in the dormitory. James and Peter were in detention again, as usual._

_"Okay, I've been meaning to speak to you for a while. I guess now seems like the right time to do it," he said nervously. I was oblivious. to what he was going to say._

_"Go on..."_

_"You promise you won't react _badly_?" he asked uncertainly. I nodded, smiling._

_"Why would I react badly?" I asked. "And yeah, I promise,"_

_"You just might," he laughed. "Okay, well basically... I'm in love with you," he said, blushing madly. "I have been since second year. You're absolutely perfect," he said smiling at me. My heart skipped a beat._

_"A-are you serious?" I asked, shocked._

_"No, I'm Sirius!" he joked. I laughed. I was amazed that he could love _me_! Out of all people. _ME_!._

_"Well, I guess I should tell you how I feel," I said slowly. He urged for me to go on. "I love you too," I said, fully aware that my face was crimson._

_"Really?" he said excitedly. "How long have you loved me?"_

_"Well, I've liked you since we first met. I remember thinking how hot you looked-" He grinned at me, so I returned the grin. "- and well, My feelings have just kept growing and growing and growing since then, and I figured out I loved you probably in second year aswell," I finished. He put his arm around my waist and held me close. I felt as if I was in heaven. Well, I was. Sitting with Sirius Black's arms tight around me in an embrace. Then, it happened. I felt his warm lips press softly against my own and I was sent off into a world of my own. A world filled with thoughts only of Sirius. It was one of the most magical moments of my life; our first kiss._

I was pulled harshly back into reality with the soaring pain in my heart. I couldn't think of things like that anymore. What was I thinking? As I clutched at my chest, I allowed myself to produce a few tears before trying to compose myself again. The door opened, and James came running in, grinning.

"Guess what?" he said, excitedly. I shrugged. He just carried on grinning stupidly.

"What?" I said.

"Guess who I'm going out with?" he carried on. I understood now. I felt wounded somewhere deep inside me.

"Lily? Congratulations," I said, trying to sound happy for him, but really, I felt lonely. Now, my only friend(except for Peter) had a girlfriend, what would I do? I probably couldn't deal with watching them kiss and hold hands. It would bring back too many painful memories. Memories I didn't _want_ to remember.

"Thanks," he said quickly, smiling, and rushing out of the room. I sighed. Another twelve hours or so and I'd be getting ready to go down to the Whomping Willow. What would I do until then? Sit and drown in my overflowing emotions probably, and then have a bad transformation and end up in a worse state than ever. That sounds like me.

* * *

It was night. I was waiting patiently inside the Shrieking Shack with Peter for James to arrive. I already felt uneasy. My muscles felt tensed and my breathing was increasing rapidly. I could feel anger bubbling up inside me, like it did every full moon. James hadn't arrived yet, and I was going to transform...

I felt pain all over my body as I suddenly became the tall, furry monster of my nightmares...

_Next morning..._

I awoke to find Peter sitting on the sofa in the Shrieking Shack, watching me. I felt terrible; I had bruises and cuts all over me from where I'd lashed out at myself. My heart dropped when I realised that James hadn't come at all... I sat up weakly and turned to face Peter.

"Didn't James turn up?" I asked quietly, trying to regain my strength. Peter frowned.

"No," he said. "I don't know why," he said, scratching his head. This made me feel upset. Upset that my best friend hadn't bothered to turn up when I needed him.

* * *

After the long hours in the hospital wing, Madam Pomfrey allowed me to leave. I walked straight upstairs to find James, and there he was, sitting in the Common Room, big grin on his face.

"Hi," he said dreamily as I sat down opposite him.

"Where were you last night?" I asked. He looked confused.

"Oh, with Lily," he said, smiling, and staring off into space. "Why?"

"Oh, nothing. I guess she's much more important than your friend then..." I said, hurt. I felt like crying, but managed not to. Now he looked completely confused.

"I don't know what you're talking about," he said, looking at me strangely. I sighed.

"It was a full moon last night," I said. He gasped and clapped his hand over his mouth.

"I can't believe I forgot," he said, shocked. "I'm so sorry Moony. Really!" He pulled me into a hug. "I'm so so sorry."

"It's fine. I was just scared when you didn't turn up. I thought I might've hurt Peter, or escaped. But luckily I only hurt myself," I said, smiling reassuringly at him.

"How bad was it?" he asked. I shrugged.

"Just a bit worse than usual," I said. "I'm just going to the library so I'll see you later."

"No no, I'll come," he said hurrying after me. "Lily might be there," he grinned. I felt a stabbing pain in my heart.

"On second thoughts, I'll just be in the dorm," I said, and hurried off up to my bed. I lay there trying to block out all painful thoughts from my mind.

For once, I wanted to be empty.

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**It's not the best chapter, but c'mon. It's my birthday tomorrow so I'm a little over excited :) **

**Review please. It would be a nice bday gift for me :)**


	3. Dream

**Sorry for not updating for a while, but I've been having a tough time. **

**Been really _really_ stressed with school, nearly quit. But just taking some time off.**

**Anyway, I hope you like it. (:**

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I opened my eyes. I could hear a noise from the other side of the room, a cough. I sat up quickly and regretted it; I was dizzy and had to lie back down again.

"Hey Rem," said the dreamy voice of Sirius.

"Sirius?" I asked, bewildered. His face came into view above me, as he sat down on the side of my bed. Those beautiful grey eyes and that sexy smile.

"Yeah babe," he said, smiling.

"But, how are you here?" I asked, grabbing his hand. I didn't want to ever let go.

"I escaped," he said. "I couldn't stay in there without you." He leaned down and kissed me on the lips for a few seconds before lying down next to me and placing an arm around me.

"Sirius, I love you," I said crying. He started running his fingers through my hair.

"I love you too," he said. "You look tired, maybe you should sleep."

"No. I don't want to," I said stubbornly. "I want to see you."

"I'll be here when you wake up, I promise," he said softly. I nodded and closed my eyes.

* * *

I opened my eyes. He was gone. Where was he? He promised! I closed my eyes and opened them again, praying that when I'd open them, he'd be standing in front of me smiling my favourite smile. But he wasn't. I broke down.

I couldn't see anything, hear anything, feel anything. I was completely numb of all emotions. I just cried and cried. I vaguely remember being picked up and carried away. The next thing I knew, I was staring up at the ceiling of the Hospital Wing.

"Are you feeling ok?" asked James, who was sitting next to me. I nodded stiffly.

"W-what happened?" I asked quietly, feeling unable to talk. He sighed.

"I don't know Rems," he answered. "I walked upstairs and you were lying on the floor shaking and crying and I didn't know what do. I took you down here."

"And it was extremely serious," said Madam Pomfrey, walking in and standing next to my bed.

"Why?" I asked.

"You came close to having a heart attack," she said. How did I almost have a heart attack?

"But how?" I asked.

"You're obviously overly stressed about something. Stress can cause heart disease, which can ultimately lead to a heart attack. Either that or you're eating unhealthily, and from what you friend tells me, you're eating extremely healthy," she said. "So you need to deal with whatever you're stressed with."

I groaned. How could I deal with it? I can't help having dreams about the love of my life, and waking up to find him still gone. Never coming back.

"Where's Pete?" I asked quickly, wondering why he wasn't in the Hospital Ward.

"He said he needed to do something important," said James. "I don't know what, sorry."

"Oh," I said, grimacing at the pain my headache was inflicting.

"Mr Lupin, we need to know what's stressing you, so we can help you overcome it," said Madam Pomfrey seriously. I sighed. I'd have to tell them.

"I, uh," I started. I couldn't finish. "Sorry, I don't want to talk about it."

"Please, Rem," said James.

"It hurts to think about it," I said quietly, trying not to cry.

"I think I know what it is," said James, looking directly into my eyes.

"What is it?" I asked him.

"It's Sirius, isn't it?" he asked. He probably saw the brim of my eyes filling up with tears. "Oh, Remus. I didn't know you were still upset about that," he said, pulling me in to an awkward one-armed hug. I sighed and let the tears fall down my face.

"I j-just w-w-want him b-back," I cried. James started rubbing my back.

"It's alright Remus. We can get through this. I miss him too, a lot," James said into my ear.

"I-I k-keep having d-d-dreams about h-him," I explained through sobs. "And then I w-wake up and h-he's g-g-gone again," I said.

"Aw Moony. I know it's hard, but you're going to have to try and get over him. And I know it's hard to hear this, but he's not coming back," said James. I cried harder.

"I know," I whispered sadly. "It's just so hard to forget."

"Yeah, I bet it is," he said, pulling out of the hug and looking at me. "Don't worry Remus. I'll try and help you forget. I'll try to help you as best I can."

"Th-thankyou James," I said, smiling slightly at him.

* * *

The rest of the day, I was lying in the Hospital Wing. I don't remember much that happened because Madam Pomfrey put me to sleep. I didn't dream, but maybe that was because of the drugs she'd used on me. I was pleased, anyway. I didn't need those dreams; they hurt too much.

"Remus?" asked a voice. I opened my heavy eyes. I could make out the outline of Madam Pomfrey.

"Hmm?"

"You can go back to your dorm now," she said. I nodded, and tried to get up.

"No, Mr Potter will take you up," she informed me. I flopped back down on the bed, and felt James's arms wrap around me and lift me. I suppose I should've been heavy, but I hadn't been eating properly for quite a while. I was pretty thin. It seemed like ages, but I was finally up in the dorm.

"Thanks, James," I said as he put me down.

"Oh, no problems Rem," said James smiling. "I just wish you'd told us earlier about this."

"Hmm," I groaned. "Isn't Peter back yet?"

"No. I'm getting kind of worried," said James. "Where d'you think he could've gone?"

I shrugged. "I don't know," I replied.

"Right, Lily's waiting for me downstairs. DON'T think about him, okay? And if you need me, just press this button," he said, showing me a small black box with a white button on it. "When you press this, it'll inform me via this," he said, pulling a second small black box out of his pocket. "It'll light up. I'll keep it in front of me while I'm downstairs."

"Thanks again, James," I said. I was so grateful. He really _was_ a great friend.

"It's alright," he said. "So, I'll see you. Try and get some rest. Bye."

"Bye," I replied as he walked out the door. I looked around the room. It was completely silent. All I could hear was my breathing. Slow and calm. Unlike most other times. I'd been sleeping for most of the day, but I still felt unbelievable tired. I let my eyes droop shut and I felt myself drifting to sleep.

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**Review please because it just gives me more of an incentive to carry on, thanks (:**


	4. Too Good To Be True

**This chapter is pretty short, I know, sorry. **

**My computers not letting my update so I have to update through my iPod, which takes a while :/**

**Anyways, I hope you like the next chapter:**

The week went on and I stayed in bed. The teachers didn't think me fit to go to class, which was murder, because exams were coming up and I needed to know what to expect. I was getting bored and restless. I mean, I'd only had _one_ problem since Sirius left, so why keep me locked up in my room?

Pete hadn't returned either. James and I were extremely worried now. James had asked McGonagall and she'd said it was very important and confidential business, so I hoped that he was alright. Just then, the door opened.

"You're awake?" James asked.

"No, I'm sleeping," I said sarcastically as he sat on the edge of my bed.

"Very funny. I brought you some chocolate," he said, wriggling the bar of chocolate in front of my face. I snatched it out of his hands quickly, grinning.

"Thankyou!" I said.

"I know how much of a chocoholic you are," he laughed. I smiled, and started eating my chocolate.

"Yeah," I said. " Do you think I'm allowed out of bed yet?"

"Yeah, Madam Pomfrey told me that you can go back to classes tomorrow," said James.

"Aw, why not today?" I whined. "It's so boring lying here all day."

"Yeah, well at least you don't have to sit through Binns's lesson," James said.

"I guess so. Have you found out what's happened to Pete yet?"

"No," James said. "I'm really worried. Where could he be?"

"No idea," I said, deep in thought.

"Well, I'll ask McGonagall later again. Moony, hurry up and get better. I miss having you around."

"Aw, I'm not that fun."

"It's boring without you," James said.

"I _am_ better," I said. "But I'm not _allowed_ out of bed yet."

"How do you know your better?"

"I don't know. I feel better. I've not thought about Sirius for a while, and I've not cried for a few days."

"Are you sure you're not just suppressing everything?"

"I'm not!" I snapped.

"Okay, okay," he said. "Right, I've got to go. Sneaking out to Hogsmeade with Lily."

"Have fun," I said, waving to him as he left the room. I'd just finished my chocolate, so had nothing else to do. I closed my eyes, and felt myself fall asleep again.

That was when I saw him. I felt like I was awake, but I knew I wasn't. I watched as he violently shoved the door open, and ran into the room. He didn't look like himself; he had bags under his eyes and his hair was much longer, shaggier and dirtier. His eyes weren't as happy as they used to be and he looked like he hadn't smiled in a long time. He was wearing his school robes, but he seemed to be too thin to fill up his clothes.

"Rem," he said weakly, throwing himself on to my bed and grabbing me around the waist. I couldn't let this happen to me again. I had a serious health problem, and couldn't risk having another breakdown. It took all my strength, but I managed to push him away, and turn away from him.

"Not real, not real, not real," I repeatedly said to myself, closing my eyes. I felt his hand on my arm, and I shrugged it off.

"What's wrong?" he asked.

"Go away," I said quietly. I could feel tears rolling down my cheek. "You're not real, leave me alone!" I shouted. I rubbed my eyes over and over, and I couldn't wake up.

"What're you talking about, Rem?" he asked softly, in that amazing voice of his. "I'm right here, look."

But I didn't look. I didn't want to feel the pain. I just cried harder.

"REMUS!"

"Shut up, you're driving me crazy!" I shouted back at him.

"Remus," he said again, softer.

"You a-aren't r-r-real. L-leave m-m-me alone," I said, in between tears. I tried to control my breathing, but it was getting harder and harder to do. I could feel my body breaking down again. I searched around everywhere for James's assistance device, but my vision was too blurred to make out anything, and I was shaking too much.

"Remmy, are you alright?" I heard Sirius's echoing voice. I didn't have any energy to answer him. I shook my head, and felt my body go numb. I could hear him saying my name over and over, but I couldn't reply. I couldn't even open my eyes. I could see nothing, and eventually, I could hear nothing. Then, I felt nothing.

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**REEEVIEWW! (Please XD)**


	5. Explanation

**I'm sorry for the long wait, but I've been quite busy. Exams coming up, driving lessons, university hunting... y'know...**

**And also, I have so many stories to update, but I quite enjoy writing this one, so heres chapter 5! :)**

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I opened my eyes. What a surprise, I was in the hospital wing... again. This seemed to be my favourite place – I spent about half my school life lying in this damned room.

"Remus?" I heard a voice. It wasn't clear, more like an echo or ring. It sounded like James. It took all my strength to turn my head and look up.

"Thank Merlin you're awake!" he said, leaning down and pulling me into a hug. I relaxed against him. What had happened now?

"How long have I been in here?" I asked weakly.

"Just under a week," Madam Pomfrey answered, entering the room with a potion in her hand. I felt a thumping in my head – the worst headache I'd ever had.

"Mmm," was all I could answer. I felt Madam Pomfrey pour the cold potion down my throat. I didn't know what it was, but I didn't have the strength to ask.

"You broke down again, mate," James answered one of my unspoken questions.

"This is coming to be a habit," I said, smiling. I didn't want everyone to look so upset. Because of me and my stupid hallucinations.

"Is he awake?" asked a familiar voice. I closed my eyes. Now, even when I think things are real, they're not. I must be going mentally insane.

"Yeah," James answered.

"Rem?" Sirius asked. I didn't answer. Who knows where I was? I didn't know. I just knew that I was probably going to break down again. He wasn't real! Couldn't he just leave me alone!

"Maybe he's gone back to sleep?" James suggested.

"No, he's not. Remus? Why won't you just _talk_ to me?" Sirius asked, his voice soft.

"Because y-y-you're not r-real," I whimpered. "I d-d-d-don't want another b-breakdown."

"I _am_ real, Rem. Just look at me," he answered. I took a chance, opened my eyes, and turned to face him. He looked better than he'd looked in my previous hallucination, but still not the way he used to. He certainly didn't look as happy.

"If you're real, then w-w-why aren't you in Azkaban? You k-killed someone," I said, trying to keep as calm as possible, even though I knew I was losing it. I could feel it.

"I didn't kill anyone, Rem. It was all a misunderstanding," he explained.

"H-h-how?" I asked. I heard him sigh.

"Do you really think I would kill someone? As much as I didn't like Snivellus, I would _never_ kill him, or anyone for that matter. It was..." He stopped. "_Peter_" he finished, in a tone of loathing. I looked at him, confused.

"B-but, how was it Pete?" I asked.

"He fancied you, Remus. No, he _loved_ you. He was jealous," Sirius said. My eyes widened. Peter didn't like me! He was straight. But then again, he did seem unusually cheerful when Sirius was arrested...

"OK, then w-w-why kill Snape?"

"He was jealous of me, because we were together. I guess he must've loved you a lot, so he decided he wanted me out of the way. I can't believe he went as far as _killing_ someone! But, I guess he thought that was the only way I would _definitely_ be kicked out of school. I knew he did it, but on the day it happened, I was so shocked, I couldn't talk properly. I don't know what happened to me," Sirius said, sadness clear in his voice. He was truly upset.

"Then w-w-why were y-you blamed?" I asked him.

"I'll tell you what happened. Peter and I were walking down to the Great Hall. He wasn't himself, he looked nervous, angry, scared. I didn't mention it though, I just kept acting normal. You know, laughing, telling him stupid jokes. I didn't really notice how he didn't laugh as he usually did. Anyway, we were quite near the Great Hall, and nobody was around – except Snivellus. He walked past, and me being me, I shouted insults at him. He turned around and started insulting me back. He was being especially cruel to Peter. I stood up for my friend. Snivellus and I kept throwing insults at each other. I was so engrossed in shouting things at him, I didn't notice Peter slipping my wand out of my pocket. All I heard were those words – _avada kedavra_, and the green light. Snivellus falling down, lifeless." Sirius's voice cracked, but he carried on. "Peter thrust the wand into my hand. I was completely frozen in shock! How could he do it? That was when Lily arrived. She saw the dead body of her friend, and saw me standing over him with my wand out. Obviously, she assumed it was me, as Peter – the damn bastard, was crying... shaking. Lily shouted something at me. Blaming me. I wasn't sure exactly what she said – everything was weird, I mean, I couldn't hear properly, and my vision blurred. There was now a crowd standing around, and Lily was crying. Dumbledore arrived, asking what was going on. Peter blamed me... He said _I_ killed Snape. I couldn't bring myself to protest. I wished I could, but my voice didn't seem to work. I just shook my head, wordlessly. I felt myself being dragged towards the door. I didn't know who it was – teacher, probably. I remember managing to shout for them to listen to me, but nobody did. I saw the same expression on everybody's faces – even you. Dumbledore demanded that my wand was checked. Obviously it was found that the last spell cast was _avada kedavra_. I knew I was crying at that point, but I couldn't find the strength to wipe the tears. I couldn't find the strength to do anything. The teachers began pulling me away, and I succeeded in shouting again that I didn't do it, but once again, nobody wanted to listen to me. Nobody wanted to listen to a 'murderer'. I looked right at you, Remus. You looked a mixture of angry and upset. I was trying to tell you I didn't do it... that I loved you so much. I think you knew I was trying to speak to you. I could see it in your eyes. When Dumbledore demanded that I was to be sent to Azkaban, I tried to escape the grasps of the teachers, but they were much stronger. All I could bring myself to say was your name, I shouted it. When I looked at you, you weren't facing me any longer. I knew you suspecting I murdered him. But, saying your name, made me hope that made you realise that I still loved you over everything that was going on," Sirius finished, looking into my eyes, with tears forming in his own.

"T-then how did you get out?"

"Peter did it. I was in my cell in Azkaban, and the door opened. I was dragged away and taken to a light room. It was blindingly light – I was so used to the dark, it took me about fifteen minutes to adjust to the change in light. I was sitting in front of Dumbledore, the Minister of Magic, and Peter. Dumbledore told me that Peter had owned up to committing the murder. They allowed Peter to explain, why he'd done it. Because he was jealous. I tried my hardest not to scream. Unfortunately, it didn't work. I had been locked away in that horrific prison for two years because the bastard was _jealous_? After he mentioned that he'd only come to confess after you'd nearly died from stress and loneliness. After he said you had had a mental breakdown, I couldn't look the filthy scum bag any longer. I climbed over the table and grabbed him around the neck. I tried my hardest to kill him. Believe me, I would have, until I was pulled off him. I was reminded that I didn't want to become a murderer. They still weren't sure Peter was telling the truth. They gave him Veritaserum, and he gave the same story. After he retold the story under the influence of the Veritaserum, I nearly jumped back towards him to strangle him again – the fact the story was true, that he'd only done it because he was jealous, and that he'd only confessed after he'd almost _killed_ you made me so angry. I'd never been so angry in my life. I didn't get my chance to hurt him, though. They made me tell my side of the story with Veritaserum, and seeing my story was the same as his, he was locked away – and for good bloody reason. I didn't understand why they hadn't used Veritaserum in the first place, and I asked them. They said that as it was only me protesting that I didn't do it, they didn't feel the need to give me the potion. They just _assumed_ that I'd done it. They've now made it a rule that people should be given Veritaserum before they're thrown in Azkaban, to prevent this from happening again. Dumbledore escorted me back to Hogwarts. I've missed two years of school. He's told me that I could carry on, and try to catch up, or join the Third Years. Otherwise, I could just drop out of school. I've decided to try and catch up – it'll be hard, but I want to be with you guys," he finished, smiling down at me. I didn't know how to react. I kept a blank face.

"Are you sure this isn't a dream?" I asked, thankful my stutter had gone now.

"I'm sure, Rem," he said, reaching down to touch my cheek. I flinched away. Reflex action. I couldn't let him touch me until I was certain this was real.

"Is he telling the truth? Is he real?" I asked James, who nodded and smiled at me.

"I still don't know," I said, looking at Sirius again. I'd let this happen too many times, and if this wasn't real, I would be completely devastated. If he was real, he was innocent, and we could go back to the way it was before. I yawned. I was tired... that must've been what Madam Pomfrey's potion was.

"If you're gone when I wake up," I said, staring into those gorgeous grey eyes that I'd missed so much. "I don't know how I'll cope."

"If I'm still here when you wake up, will you believe me?" He asked. I thought it through. If this wasn't real, I'd probably die as this was one hell of a hallucination. I decided it was better to die than to live in pain of not having him. I nodded.

"If you're still here when I wake up, I'll be the happiest person in the world," I answered. He smiled down at me.

"Night, Rem," he said, as my eyes drooped closed.

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**Looks really short, but it's the longest chapter I've _ever_ written! Probably because there are two HUGE paragraphs lol **

**Anyway, I'd appreciate reviews :D**


	6. The End

I could smell the gorgeous scent of... of _him_. It was almost nostalgic, the way I could smell him, whilst feeling the strong, warm arms around my body. _Wait_? Why are there arms around me?

I flutter my eyes open, staring into brilliant grey orbs; so beautiful, so heartbreakingly wonderful. He must be real. He couldn't _not_ be real, with the scent and the feel of him holding me. With the softness in those eyes, and the happiness in that smile. I wanted to lie there forever, smiling up at him and staring into his eyes.

"Good morning," he said quietly, moving a strand of hair from my face. I let out a small sigh. "Do you believe I'm real now, baby?"

"Mm-hmm," I mumbled. His position changed, so he was holding me closer to his face.

"I love you, Remus," he said, putting a hand on my neck, and tracing small circles that made my skin tingle excitedly.

"I love you too," I answered, smiling when I saw his face light up. He pulled my face up towards his, and brought our lips together.

It felt like everything had erupted and I was flying through a never-ending sky. I felt so happy, content. As I met the softness of his lips, I recognised the texture, but it felt so distant. It felt as if it had been an eternity since our lips had last met, and it was an amazing feeling. When I felt his tongue make its way into my slightly parted mouth, I let out a sigh of happiness, bringing my arms up to tangle in his hair.

He kissed me passionately, and I returned the favour, kissing him back just as passionately. Right now, I didn't care if anyone walked in. I didn't care if the world found out my secret... All I cared about was that I was with him. It felt like I'd been away, and finally come home. Sirius was my home.

I was no longer empty, the hole had been patched up with Sirius's love. I felt completely full of love, no longer yearning desperately for him, as he was here. He wasn't leaving, and I'd always have him with me, just were I wanted.

**The End**

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**Well, I want to thank _everyone_ who has reviewed, and stuck with this fic! I love you all so so so SO much!**

**This last chapter was very short, I know, but that's how I've always imagined the end to be, since I started this fic.**

**It's great to be done with this, so now I can move on to other fics, so if you're not too busy, please take a little time to look at my others. I reccomend In Someone Else's Shoes which is a Remus/Sirius fic but it's not romance central!**

**Anyway, please review this chapter, and make me a happy bunny! ;DDDD**


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